Did you ever stop to think about how certain words reveal a great deal about us? I’m not talking about designations that others may use to desctibe our physical appearance (attractive, stocky, tall, graceful…) or characteristics (sweet, generous, funny…) but, rather, words that tickle our fancy; phrases that turn us on — or off.
Parasailing in the Boracay, Philippines; Wikimedia Commons
For example, some of my personal favorites that put a song in my heart and a smile on my face whenever I hear them are: Permanent Press, Disposable, Easy Care, Wash & Wear, Roomba, Take-out, Maid Service Automatic, Self-propelled … in short, anything that promises maximum results with minimum effort on my part. A dead give-away that I’m basically lazy, I suppose.
These are followed by a whole other category of words that appeal to my frugal (okay, stingy) nature, such as Free, Clearance, Discount, Early Bird Special, Sale!
Conversely, words I don’t like are equally revealing: Washing, Ironing, Cleaning, Vacuuming, Mowing, Weeding, Shoveling, Cooking (and any recipe with more than four ingredients) … just typing these makes me shudder.
Another phrase on my list of no-nos are those three little words — no, not I Love You but For Your Age, a phrase with the powerful ability to reverse a compliment instantly, as in “You look wonderful — for your age.” “Your blood pressure is great — for your age.” “You have so much energy — for your age.” The next person who makes such an observation about me is going to find out how powerful a punch I pack — for my age.
Then there are those phrases that immediately raise my defenses: But Wait! There’s More! More ways to separate you from your money, that is, by offering you a “free” duplicate of whatever you just ordered in a moment of weakness. You don’t even need one of those gizmos; but they will send you two, at no extra charge! All you’ll pay is for the extra shipping and handling — which usually equals the cost of the item; and you can’t decline the second “free” one even if you want to.
Any offer that starts with Congratulations! You Have Won … immediately sets off fraud alarms in my brain; and I don’t believe for a microsecond any claim that One Size Fits All. On the contrary, that’s a guarantee that it fits no one correctly.
And I’m equally incredulous if anyone tells me something is being done For My Convenience, which translates to for their profit.
I react even more violently when someone Thanks Me for My Patience after leaving me on hold for twenty-five minutes. That fuming you hear is not me being patient.
Then there are all those words that paralyze me with fear and nausea: Bungee Jumping, Sky Diving, Roller Coasters, Surfing, Ski Jumping, Parasailing, Hang Gliding … even Escalators.
The preceding are but a few examples of how my reaction to various words tells you more about me than descriptions others might apply to me. You don’t know me, right? You never met me. You have never even talked to anyone who has had the privilege (well, in my opinion) of knowing me. Yet after reading how I feel about various words, you know that I am lazy, frugal, in denial about my age, skeptical, impatient, and a coward.
It frightens me to think what else the next words I react to might reveal about me!
and If These Are Laugh Lines, I’m Having Way Too Much Fun can also be ordered at Amazon.com or through Pelican Publishing (800-843-1724). Her website is rosemadelinemula.com.
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